On teacher's day (which is tml)....

=)This is my tuition kiddo.



He shyly gave me this last night...






What's inside. =D



Darn,I cant seem to upload the other two pics which feature closer view of the card.

Ah..Fedup!

Forget it,I happy can liao.

That's what I love about being teacher~~~

Kidding.

Junhan got me a pair of earrings last year.
Which is very special,I say.(even though its cheap type)

Kaiyi's one is nicely wrapped and it's so cute when there's a small bouquet of roses(fake) inside it.
I am pretty sure it doesnt comes with the package.
Even a 10 year old boy can do something that sweet and romantic(to say), I wondered why guys these days DONT even know anything about that!
Blah!!!!


Of coz I jokingly told him that it would my turn next month, yea?

Haha.

On second thoughts

I guess you cant really take it as I'm very sad.

I want to feel that very rich emotion again, say being extremely sad or happy.
(I leave up being extremely angry coz this is so easy to be in my trade.)

Just wanna feel that kinda rich emotion again so that I could be ME!

When I said I'm happy, I am not really feeling that raw happiness coz life goes on.
Happiness aint here every seconds and very often falls the very next minute.

When I said I'm sad, again I dont really feel that heart aching raw pain.

It's like every emotions have been concealed in somewhere coz I am afraid to show, and really it's not advisable to show and I cant show, AND~what's there to show?

Oh what am I talking about?

See...What I'm trying to say is that life goes on, round and round.
Day in and day out, it's almost a repetitive cycle just with different the same events replaying themselves in different order.

Hmm.

On one hand, I am damn grateful coz this daily rountine makes me do at least something everyday.
At least I dont live a day whereby I feel unaccomplished and redundant.
And such also makes every rest day comes by so precious and worth it's while.
This is especially important when you come to work coz you simply cannot and CANT afford to be a no-doer.
Right?

On the other hand, this makes me feel so detached from the age that I should be.
At 21, I could be still studying, enjoying myself, seeing the world etc ...instead of burying myself in this society,fighting hard each time so I could be on top of the wave and breathe.
You get what I mean?
I know you do.

Have you had any idea how much, just how much I wish I could be studying and complaining about the endless projects and so on.
How much I want to do what I really want.
Be it an air stewardness or just a childcare teacher.
How much I wanna go back to campus life.

But forget it.
I cant.
This is not being realistic.
Even if I studied, I still have to face this society one day.
If I have to do it eventually, I rather face them now.

I cant study coz really,I dont see what's the big idea of being a graduate coz degree holders cant find a job while I am sitting here finding jobs for them.
(And I absolutely DETEST bachelor degrees holders!Who the Fiak* they think they are. Wanna command a $2k pay in the current market and during year end. Want only perm job. Hey~you can carry on sit there and watch the days fly by,suckers!)

And Blah~I dont wanna study again for the sake of it.
What's the point of me taking a degree in Business (for eg) if I dont like it.

Of coz ~ I dont have that kinda money to.

Put studies aside, I guess I have to postpone my "dream" of being kids' teacher to indefinite. (That is if I ever gonna be eventually.)
1st the pay that I am gonna get is totally NOT viable.
Not for the future, not for the present.
I did consider that I really wont mind the pay if that's the job I like.
Not to mention,I still have to study the course. ($$$)
But having weighing all the circumstances, I have to give way.
SO blah~

Be an air stewardness.
Ha.Ha.Ha.
-_-
Let's just put it as I would be grately if I get to travel say at least once a year in the near future.

Well~everything aside.

I guess it's not so bad.

Look,I may be weary of going to work.
My body is screaming for rest!
(Something which I owed it since I graduated, I think.)

But now..I cant.
1st, I know my job cant afford me to.
A single day makes a big difference in the things you can do.
So imagine~I really cant.(if possible)

2nd, I CANT let my "laziness" gets the better of me.
This is absolutely a no-no.
I cant define already if I am really tired or it is just pure excuses for my lazy self.
I take it as the latter coz I know I am still able to work.
I really can.

3rd, You know that I have got what I wanna acheive.
I admit these are not big dreams nor wild ambitions.
But I planned this tiny goals carefully, I really just wanna do it in the shortest time possible.

I dont wanna wait for 5 or 6 years then I could get what they are getting.
It is of no difference from them, correct anot?
I wanna do it faster,faster,faster!

I wanna get what I want faster!
I know Clara is placing high hopes on me thus the many 'priviledges'.
I dont care what she is giving me.
I dont even know if she is telling me the truth or do I care?

I just wanna get what I want and bring what I want to others!

If you think this is crazy.

Lemme tell you, this has got to be the element you MUST learn to have to ride on the height.






Sigh...

Money doesnt spin my world.

But I learned that it is definitely essential to get what I want.

Since young, I've seen the difference b/w those living (very) comfortably and those not.

I just tell myself, one day I wanna be lidat too.
But most importantly I wanna let my parents live like that coz they deserved to!
They have NEVER been all their lives.
So why they shouldnt?

If say my life aint fated to be rich, lemme twist it myself.













...


At one point, I just wish that there is someone that will carry all these for me.
Lemme live in comfort...ha..every gal's wish.

But I think I must realised that this is no fairyland.

If I wanna get it, I must get it for myself.

So what I am only 21, so what I am just a gal.
So what I am a weak soul that's afraid of loneliness?
So what I am a ever sensitive and emotion rich freak?

If I have to choose b/w battling it out like others or seek solace in my cowardness.
I HAVE to pick the former.
What's there to choose?

So what I really wanna sit down and have a good cry?
As time goes on, I realised there's nothing worth to cry about.

Work can be extremely challenging and tiring each time.
As days go on, it is toiling on me.

Hey you can only choose to sharpen your gear, strengten your armour or you let defeat laugh at you.

It's not a choice right?

It's my life.

And most probably yours in another way too.

OH~~~


BLAH~

;)

In this line, there are probably more challenges than I expected.
Tougher and tougher each round.

Quite frankly, I am really tired.
Mental fatigue,I called.

I cant even recall it was in which year that I last have a 'holiday'.

So whenever I heard of my friends going tours to HongKong,Taiwan,Thailand,even just Batam~I am filled with envy.
=(

Did I mention that both my parents got the pink eye virus?
Lastest update:
So did my brother.

I am the sole surviver, but for how long?

Ah...

Work very stress ah!!!!!!

One cranky case is enough, let alone a cranky case for months.

=<

I am so....sad..

This is not a Fraud case. This is about Me.

If you read my Friendster's profile( I wondered who are the loyal ones that keep adding to my hit counter daily?), part of it stated:

"I am not just 21.
I am beyond and below.

Don't judge me and misjudge me."

********************************
A side note before I carry on.

You know I miss you too.

We dont see each other very often but please believe me that you are never far from my thoughts and prayers, like all my friends.

Thanks, Eve. =D
We shall meet one day,really soon!
***********************************


And so..where am I?
The results of blog hop~
Hehz.


Most of my friends would really think I am very mature for my age.
I am so not surprised to hear people telling me the same thing, just trying to frame it in different angles so it wont sound offending.

I dont know if I should be happy/flattered for the fact that you people think I am and/or I really am.

I got a colleage(who used to be my candidate first).
She's my age.

She's your regular very sweet(very sweet~~) and really very sweet sounding kinda gal.

How do she sound like?
A kid?Haha.

I dont mean it in a mean way.

Think of our local singer/actress- Stella Ng(who really gets nowhere. Hurray!)
Yea, her voice is something lidat.

But trust me, we all love her coz she is as sweet as her voice is.

So when people compared me to her, we get the same reactions. (but different interpretations.)

"Huh! You are 21?!"

-_-

It's very obvious that people think she is below 21 and I'm beyond.

Not that I really look like I'm beyond.(I heavily STRESSED that point! If you dont agree with me, scram!)
But I talk, behave and most likely think and live beyond 21.

It is almost unescapable in this stereotypical society that 21 is the measurement of "adulthood".

I really wanna BLAH~that judgement!

If that's so true, I think life's very demoralizing and sad having hit 21.
But this has nothing to do with what I'm gonna say.

I always think (and people think too) that how I am now is due to my family.

I wouldnt really rule that out but when I looked at my family, we are mighty fine.(most of the time.)

Yes, I'm not exactly rich but I am content coz I dun live at the stage of proverty too.
I just dont live that well off.
But with my current income, I am still able to support myself and shop within a budget.

So I guess it is really just me huh?

Today was pretty an unsmooth day for me at work.
Not gonna blah them in details here but it's just like surfing.Sometimes it's tough to hang on the top of the waves and often get swept under it.
You just need how to breathe if not you wont survive.
Tricks of the trade, we must all master.

Anyway so I was talking to one of my very first client.
She suddenly asked how old am I.
I was stunned for a few seconds before I asked her how old she thought I am.

Make a guess,my readers.(As if there's alot. Lol. Fun to pretend that I'm famous sometimes.)






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You guessed it?

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She said...." Late Twenties?????Say 28???"

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FYI.

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We have NOT met.
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THANK GOD!!!


T_T*




So you imagined when I heard her answer, I was truely heartbroken.
My facial expression could be drawn like those you often seen in comics.
-_- ---- Then break into tears.

I told her I wasnt so she asked if I was in early twenties.
She was ALREADY very surprised when she realised I am in my early twenties.

So she thought I was like 23,24.
-_-
*goes bawls!*


When I finally told her I am (Only) the magical 21.
She goes,"HUH~~~SO YOUNG!!!"

Am I supposed to be happy or sad that I disappoint her?

She explained that I really dont sound like it coz I sounded very experienced and 'steady' during conversations etc.

She was further surprised that this is my first line (in this industry) and her company was my first client.

I bet you for a plate of chicken rice that she must now concludes that I came to the workforce pretty early when it is really just July 2004.

Well...I guess this is not too bad.
(We always gotta look at the brighter side eh?)

So now I just pray haard(very hard) that her company wont gives me any troubles.
(oh~~It's a very very long grandma's tale.)

Well...


I guess that it's natural too that you may feel 'under judgement' if people think you lesser than your actual age.(esp when you are young.)

Am I glad that it is the reverse for me?

Nah ah.

Coz nobody realised that I am too a gal who loves to have fun, be kiddish, love candies and balloons and soft toys.

This is how I am, how people think I am.

What can I do?

It's not that I wear a mask trying to fool the world but I cant help the way I behaved too.

For a record, I cant stand things that are too childish for my taste.
I cant stand that older people think I cant carry a decent conversation and be their friends, coz I am younger than them and wont meet their mentaility.

I just dont like people to judge me.
(But I cant say the same for myself coz I guess I like to pass judgements too.)


So often I thought to myself...who am I?
Who and what is the me that you saw?

I thought I was a good hybrid of everything bright and dull.

But I guess that is too good of a description for me.

Hmm...


Like I say, dont ever read too much in my blahings.(That is IF you read)

It doesnt mean anything.

Gonna upload some beautiful pictures.

Dont worry..it's not my face. =/

Next time ba.

Bonnuit.

I really just wanna be happy too...

Something tying our hearts down.

Think it's the motion of life.

Isnt there no way to break this daily cycle.

Sometimes the rountine of life spells stability.

Sometimes its just a curse.


This is getting so sick.

So sick.


When will and can I kiss good bye to what I wanna throw away and be happy?

Well?

I do swear that I'll always be there

I'd give anything and everything andI will always care

Through weakness and strength

Happiness and sorrow,

for better, for worse

I will love you with every beat of my heart

From this moment life has begun

From this moment you are the one

Right beside you is where I belong

From this moment on

From this moment

I have been blessed

I live only for your happiness

And for your love

I'd give my last breath

From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart

Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start

You and I will never be apart

My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I liveI will love you,

I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love

And you're the answer to my prayers from up above

All we need is just the two of us

My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I liveI will love you,

I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on.

I will love you as long as I live

From this moment on
-Shania Twain
Another perfect wedding song.

Just how many of it is true?

Some pics that I owed last Sunday.

-This is how it should look.








-This is how it turned up.






Well...?




Hehz.

My mum got it.

My dad got it too.

Though I desperately would welcome the break if I got it.

But I really dont wanna get it.

Coz I dun wanna be ugly.





-R u trying to tell me that I'm ugly?


*eyes kinda itch*

Now me n my bro are fighting whose immunity is stronger.

Deliver a bouquet of flowers to my office pls~~

Since my poly attachment, I witnessed the kinda joy a gal can experience when a bouquet of flowers is delivered to the office to her by surprise.

Be it Mr Anonymous or just a sweet heart.

And today Ashley becomes the 'wha' object when the bouquet of 12 roses came.

Sob.

I also want.

Not that I fancy flowers.(Oh well,I admit I like flowers but I dont like it too coz it doesnt live forever.)
But I am a sucker for romance...most of the time.

I can think of a hundrend and ten ways to suck out all the romance from Cupid but sadly most guys that I know cant.

And when I already put it clear here, seeing a stalk of white rose on my table next morning wont serve its purpose anymore.=/














But I dont care.

If you care, pls deliver a bouquet of whatever and how many flowers you want (except crysanthemums!) to :

1 Selegie Road
Paradiz Centre
Success Human Resource Centre
#06-16/17

Attn to:
Ms Michelia Lu


Domo Arigato~

*Bows*


=D






























Blah.




Noone is gonna do it.

What does it mean by 'broken'?

On a different note from the topic first, I think there's something wrong with my MMS.
I sent 3 pics to my email and yet it didnt appear.
What the fiak~
MMS costs ok.No doubt it's just like 15 cents each but every cents is and should worth.

Anyway sometimes I received emails from Steven Lim.(yea, that infamous stripper/self entertainer/free lance brow plucker/whatever he loves to be.)
I am under his mail list coz I let him pluck my brows before.
Shhhh*

Moon cake festival aka Yue Bing Jie in my tongue is approaching.
And so he (Steven) said it was meant that it's lovers reunited day.
(Does that mean lovers are separated rest of the time?)
And he is still waiting for the one he loves back to his arms.

Well..
=/


I dunno.

Perhaps I am one spolit rotten apple.(or maybe banana)

I forgot the pain that love can inflicts yet I remember ...

I forgot what I wanna said within seconds.

A broken tale.

=

What does that means?

Sometimes ... just sometimes, dont you find that something that's broken is very beautiful as well?
Painfully beautiful.

Just looking it at another angle that is.

Dont turn around and point your finger scolding me 'siao'.

I realised at one point of time or another, we all love to embrace ourselves in the unkind sorrow and paint our world with grey and black.

Even we are not ones that deserve to be pity or the ones that undergo the poorest man's fate.
We still love to do that to ourselves.

Not asking for a few more pennies but perhaps a few more attention to our lonely hearts.

But again when the attention came, we throw them away and further delude ourselves.

We thought the world forsake us and we forsake the world too.

We thought we could be heartless and it is still there pumping.

We thought we can survive on our own yet we still cry when we are left alone.

We thought we are broken yet we are living in one full piece.

So what do you mean by broken?

It may be something that's not seen from the outside.

Again and again, you are broken to pieces and dusts.

How many times can you be broken?

Are you really so?

Or it is just a state of mind that you love to draw yourself into?


Just a random blah.


Dont pay no attention to me.

You know what I mean.

=)

I thought I was dreaming when I heard mum's voice in the morning today.
Thus I ignored it and con'td my tales in Lala land till 11.43am.

When I awoke, she's really there sleeping at her bed.
(She got pink eye~both.I hate that!Rather get the flu bug but hey..touch wood!)
(And my dad just told me that he dunno where to sleep tonight..haha!)
I went to the kitchen and found my dad cooking.

This is really a Sunday that's not the same.
Not that I dont welcome nor welcome it.
Well...=)

This is how Sunday should be afterall?

A brilliant looking Sunday!

Good if ya resting at home, dating outside, playing any kind of sports you want.

Am very lazy but think I shall still make a trip to the neighbourhood salon again.
Project $$ flyaway again.
-_-
But think it's essential.
?

Hmm..


My dad baked the muffin which I bought months ago and didnt do it coz I thought I cant do it correctly without those kinda muffin tray.
And it's expensive sia~

Who knows my dad did it using just the normal square tin and it just tastes as good.(though sweet)

Sometimes I really wondered do I HAVE or NOT any cooking genes,brains etc.

Oh wow..I think my mum's conjuntivities (however u spell it) case is quite serious.

The weirdest thing about this RED EYE thingy is I dunno how it is spread.

Direct eye contact is not really the way or rather the only way.
Funny huh?
It's not even like coughing or cold whereby you sneeze/cough, all the germs come flying around.

Hmmm...

I suggest you better not read this blog anymore(if you read) coz..
































Just kidding

xQ2ERF

I always find that song (I hope you dance) a very beautiful song.
The tune, the melody, the lyrics, the meaning and of coz the voice.



Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking

Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

I really wish that I dont have to work on Saturday at all!

I'm a very 'DAY' person.
Unlike many people, I cant look normal when night falls for too long.

Ok so let's not just talk about looks.

My energy just runs dangerously low when it comes to late nights, especially I started the day early.

And when that happened, I began to act like a kid.
Perhaps that WAS me?

I just keep my slience and hardly uttered a word.
My eyes just wanna shut on its own.

I wont resume my 'normal' self till I got home & have a good bath.
(Like now.)

Great...my nose suddenly bleed just now.
Stop liao.
Been so long since my nose bleed....


Wanted to blog more but blogger suddenly like retard lidat.

Think I shall end this entry with ...


Jimmy the Grasshopper!!



-I think the name is Jimmy...no?

We found the dead one off the screen.
=/


-A rather big size one, think it was tramped to death?Ouch?


If you find that gross,I'm sorry.

Here's a cuter one.

One of the most beautiful songs

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Living might mean taking chances

But they're worth taking

Lovin' might be a mistake

But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart

Leave you bitter

When you come close to selling out

Reconsider

Give the heavens above

More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(Rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who)

I hope you dance

(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)

(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(Rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who)

(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance

(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)

I hope you dance

(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)

(Where those years have gone)

--LeeAnn Womack


Dance with me=)

I'm feeling a lil dozy but I still cant sleep.
I dunno why.

Outta the sudden, this unsettled feel gushed over me.

Sigh.

*stares blankly*

Somehow I dont feel easy tonight.

I dont know why and is due to what.

It's just a tinge in the heart that makes me feel ...worried?

Tell me nothing is wrong and everyone is fine.

A pain I wish you wont make.

Something I didn't say
Something I didn't say
Spending another night alone
Wondering when
I'm gonna ever see you again
Thinking what I would give
To get you back, baby
I should have told you how I felt then
Instead, I kept it to myself, yeah
I let my love go unexpressed
'Til it was too late
You walked away

[Chorus 1:]
Was it something I didn't say
When I didn't say, "I love you"?
Was it words that you never heard
All those words I should have told you
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to?
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)


Always assumed that you'd be there
Ooh, ooh, couldn't foresee
The day you'd ever be leaving me
How could I let my world
Slip through my hands, baby?
I took for granted that you knew, yeah
All of the love I had for you, yeah
I guess you never had a clue
'Til it was too late
You walked away


[Repeat chorus 1]


[Bridge:]
Oh, oh, all the words were in my heart
Well, they went unspoken
Baby, now my silent heart
Is a heart that's broken
I shoulda said so many things
Shoulda let you know
You're the one I needed near me
But I never let you hear me


[Chorus 2:]
Was it something I didn't say
When I didn't say, "I love you"?
Was it words that you never heard
All those words I should have told you
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to?
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)
Something I didn't say
(I'm so sorry, girl, so sorry)
Something I didn't say
(I'm so sorry, girl, so sorry)
Something I didn't say
Something I didn't say

--98 degrees

It's really pointless to be sorry.
No matter how the results,I still hope you would say.

Of coz I did not thus I know it's painful.

Over and it's over.

I am glad that you* did.
=)

A matter of trust

Misunderstandings,miscommunications and conflicts are inevitable anywhere and everywhere.
I am just glad that I didnt get into deep trouble today and it all got resolved.
Must be my karma~
Hehz.

Or rather seriously I realised how important (to say) I am to some of the people.
I am sorry and touched at the same time.

Reflecting back, I do not think it is much of a big issue to be upset of.
But again some people are very emotion and sensitive.
Especially when you really value that person.

So I guess that concludes it. =)

I have to admit that no doubt I have high guards of my own world but I trust people very easily too.
I have no qualms at all to trust and totally believe people that I just know and can talk to.
And only to some special ones, I find it very easily to let them know about parts of my "inner world".

But I guess I still have to learn not to do that when it comes to working.

Even it's someone you can get along with.Even it's someone new and seem harmless enough.

Oh well.

Not a big deal though.
Dont think too much.

The same old laughter resumes at the end of the day. ^^

Not gonna bring me down.

I just know that I gotta keep running and run faster if I wanna be the one that ahead of the race.

I've got a goal.

It may seem overly ambitious for my lazy self.
(Yes,I am forever lazy)

Over there(at my work place), the performing consultants took years to accumulate that kinda commission and bonus.

I wanna beat them to it, as in the amount of time put in to achieve that.

I must be more consistent to telemark on my own clients.
Right now I am just happily relying on the existing clients my colleagues have and tried to close from there.

I know this is really not enough if I wanna get what I want.

I know if I wanna get everything I want and give everything I wish I could give.

I must run faster.

I am lucky and not as this is life.

We aint blessed in every aspects almost.

The rich may be loveless.
The love may be poor.
The blind may be a singer.
The singer may be a wacko.

Blah!


So well...I rem' a dear friend did told me that in life we gotta keep a foot ahead of the other.
=)

Shall we?

2 songs I enjoyed particularly tonight

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

I would cross the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road alone

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

--Norah Jones


Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

--Frank Sinatra

While I'm not feeling very well

Since lunch,I am not feeling very well.
Bloated.
Heavy head.
Low blood.(despite eaten)
Giddy.
Faint.

Finally endured till K.O.

Tuition.

Today I taught Cubes/Cuboids/Volume.

If you recalled your primary syllabus, this the part whereby you must have goot 3d imagination.

So imagine while I am feeling so giddy, trying to teach on 3d proves to be a lil challenging.

Now I still feel the same.

I wish I could take MC tml.

But I've decided to go to work afterall(even if I'm proved unfit tml) coz I've a morning interview.
At least I must finish that interview.

The reason that I didnt want to let my colleagues to take over the interview for me tml is becoz~~~~

If that particular candidate gets selected, I would have to spare a percentage of the commission with that colleague if she did help to interiview.

That's my candidate,my effort, nil chance!

I dont mind sharing and is very open to that.
But especially I am new,I must grab every target I can.

Grows weary for it but it's the only way I can get what I want eventually.

Am doing the righteous method so aint ashamed for being "money-hungry"(if you say so.)
This is where the sales part comes in!

Damn...Think fever is climbing in my sytem.But normal body temperature leh.

Think it's partly becoz of P.O.E.M;)

Oh..according to the topic "While I'm not feeling very well...."


I still got the energy to be a nacissist!!!!
Hehz.

Wont upload these ugly pics to Friendster yet.
So if you read here, you are the first to see.(Not that I know you love to..but YOU HAVE TO!)

HAHA!


-I know this is inverted but it looks better in this angle.





-Seriously, do you find that slight resemblance?


-That's how I feel most of the time.I dont have migraine but somedays are worse than that!


-my fav pic of all times.Not only it's black & white..but really it's w/o makeup(duh) and I'm at home..so amazing!!!

I rem' Mingli once said my hair no matter how I cut is still the same style.



-Past -Present



Conclusion* Here leh~Infact each time I cut it, got little changes one.I rem' one time I styled it like Chen Song Ling in that drama.After the next haircut,it's gone!
Come to think of it...I kinda like the past coz it's longer, thiner.But dunno why everytime I feel very messy then go cut and cry!


Lastly I present to you




-MY BLAH PHOTO!!!
(Taken 25/08/05 during tuition.)

Hehz.

The saddest song for me...Once Upon A time.

You can hardly wait to tell all your friends
How his kisses taste sweet like wine
And how he always makes your heart skip a beat
Everytime he walks by
And if you're feelin' down
He'll pick you up
He'll hold you close when your makin' love
He's everything you've been dreamin of
Oh baby

Chorus
I wish you'd look at me that way
Your beautiful eyes lookin' deep into mine
Tellin' me more
Than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you all I am
Is the invisible man

(You don't see me baby)
You probly spend hours on the phone
Talkin' ‘bout nothin at all
(Talkin' ‘bout nothin at all)
It doesn't matter what the conversation
Just as long as he calls
Lost in a love so real
And so sincere
And he'll wipe away
All those tears
Your face lights up whenever he appears

Chorus

Spoken:
I see you all the time baby
The way you look at him
I wish it was me sweetheart
Boy I wish it was me
But I guess it never will be

Chorus 2X

Oh oh oh
Oh baby
The invisble man
You don't see me girl
But I love you
Yes I love you
The invisible man
Oh oh oh
Yeah yeah
The invisible man
Baby, baby, baby


--Invisible Man --98 degrees

I'm so glad...

That I dont have to do telemarketing anymore.
At least I dont have to do it like a student anymore.
I am the fastest growing consultant~~

Blah!

Bullshit.

Being feeling kinda bloated the whole day today.
Guess I had a lil too much since yesterday.

Hmm.

Nothing much today,I guess.

Izzit only me or what?

Do you find this week kinda slow?

When I walked in the office today,my comments for the day is..."Today is only Wednesday?"

Btw just lemme scream at the irritating HR personnels from the companies below.
You must pretend you didnt see anything.

1)Stupid damn *nameS*of Caltex Singapore Pte Ltd.
2)Stupid damn *name* of Calyon Bank Ltd.
3)Stupid damn *name* of The Turning Point Business School.

So far I can only remember this 3.
Cant be bothered to remember too much.
Will shorten life span.

But that damn *beep* from Caltex is ARGH!
I only spoke to the 'big one' once and I already sent my virtual slap across her face!

To think they closed deals from my side!

Oh fiaker..~

Why must some people be such asses.

"I want to teach a world a song and sings in perfect harmony~~"
(Something lidat)

I used to like that song alot when I was in Primary school.

Listening back....


BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night's dinner at Seoul Garden.
Too sinful.
=/
But I love the satay beef sia.

A fun dinner.

When it comes to parting,it's still sad.

Back to my family's affairs....It's abit on the downhill.

But I hope everything pull through fine.

Sigh.

At the very least, I prayed health and safety are well secured.
Though money is essential in Singapore.

My friends, jia you!

(All of u.)

Happy 25th Month.

It's been neither long nor short.

It's not how long it has been at the end of the day.

Rather the every little days that lead us to now and the future.

Happy 25th (plus 1) month.

=)

From some days back till now, I've pledged my listening pleasures to Class 95 fm.
Though some of the oldies are really old but most are still what I can recognized.

Caught 'The Maid' with mum tonight.
It was a movie to remember coz this is the very first movie I watched with mum alone and her first movie since Jurassic Park 1 or 2.

=)

Actually the plot wasnt very good.
The sound effects were the ones that make it scary.

But over here, scardy c8t M[Ch still covered herself with her shawl during 90% of the show.
=/
Her mum is much braver than her.

Sigh.

I just dun like ghosts' shows.

I wanna cry

Forever...Don't.

I dunno why I must be the one that feels so terrible when things aint right between my parents.
Pour your troubles on me,I gladly listen.
But seriously what must I do from there?
I dunno and cant side on either.
It just made me feels so sad...so sad.

I really hate it when everything I have ONLY yesterday just disappears to no where today.
Tell me I am just being over sensitive.
Somehow I feel things aint right somewhere anymore.

Tell me why is it whenever I am feeling so grief inside, noone reaches me.
Not even you.
What I am expecting?
Maybe I am over expecting.

Despite messages of telling you I really miss you, I hear nothing.

Hold it!

I dont wanna hear a damn thing only when I asked for it.

I dislike things when I have to put a request for it.

But again even if you have said it, oh do I expect what?

I am sorry.
I am too selfish and self centered for my own good.

I guess I just cant stand the feeling of losing things I owned just without a reason.

Losing a love.
Losing a friend.
And what now...perhaps a family.

Dont keep telling me that you love me...when one day it is just gonna end.

Dont promise me a forever.

Forever is only but a time limit wrapped in candy laces by us.

At least when I dont have you, I am still comforted by the fact that you didnt promised me a forever.

Like them...sitting together in a living room, distance not more than 1 meter.
Yet it feels like one's in another country.





What am I hoping for?

For you?
Or.
For me?

Sunday...The ultimatum of loneliness

Say it isn't so?

I wish there's an angel that I know sits here with me and talk.

Dont and would never mind how I look at home.
He (my angel is a He) can looks just as lousy as well.
Coz we are both only at home.

We can both sit there and stare at the walls, like our eyes can paint pictures like Picasso on the plain walls.

He can show me magic by plucking a feather off his many many wings.(My angel wont just have a pair of wings.That's your average angel.He has mutiples!)

And really...

I wont be sitting here alone and type all these.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

CHORUS
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there


Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
Everything seems cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

CHORUS
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

-Soul Asylum - Runaway train


Anyone....wanna board this train with me?





Do you miss me?


Lemme know pls...

What if you have to choose....

I read this from one of the famous blogger in this blogging industry thingy.

Well,shouldnt lift any text from his blog but I thought the dilemma faced is rather a painful one.

Say what if you have to choose b/w the life you want and then your family and the rightful responsibilities that you ought to bear?

The life you wanted and the person you love was all the other way at the other side from your family and the responsibilites.

You have to choose one.
Which will you take?

It's not that you are at the age of settling down for a family and so.
An age where the peak of life should be.
Your dreams and the one you are together for years are there.
But you have to leave coz your family is here.
It's not that you really have a choice though.
If you haven't leave for your family that time, you would be living in remorse all your life.

Why?

Coz one of ur family members is dying?
Say it was his father in his case.
And now his dad is dead, he cant leave too.

Why?
His mother who will be all alone?
And the responsibility of a child.

And it's not that your love or dream will come together with you once you decided to move for your family.


A pain huh?

I guess it's pretty similar to anything in life.

There's always an opportunity cost.


Sometimes the price is too big yet you still have to pay and carry the debt with you.


Sigh...


Would you say that life is fair or unfair in circumstances like this?

A reminiscent trip

Went to China town today.
There's a shop at China Square L2.
Contains all the old collectibles.
Posters,CDs,Badges,Photos,Comics,Magazines,Photos etc.
The only thing is that the owner doesnt seem like the friendly sort.

A very nice place to explore nonetheless!

Look at this Hacks candy container I found!
(P.s:I dont even know Hacks got cherry flavour one until I saw the other container.)



So we walked around China town.(round and round.)


--At the lousy Sportslink

Till we decided to go to Queensway.

Nothing much there except Ikea & Queensway (or izzit Queenstown?) shopping centre.







--My bathroom!!(I wish...See that tag at the basin?)




Had an early dinner and FINALLY decided to go J.East.

Nothing much there too.

Took the 105 and sleep all the way home.

A rather simple and tiring day,I'd say.

Makes me fret where to go when the other weekend comes by.

Btw, hope you like that bag!

Been wanting to buy one good one for you.

An adv. 25th month gift ba?

Since most likely we may not be together that day.

And I havent get you anything for a long long time le.


;)

From the bottom of my broken heart

Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you now, still I miss you somehow


From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love
I never knew love'
Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said "please stay.
GIve our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about
But you put a dart
Through my dreams through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end


From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love
I never knew love'
Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

You promised yourself
But to someone else
And you made it so perfectly clears
Still I wish you were here


From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love
I never knew love'
Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
--Britney Spears

What would you do when a relationship fails?

This is a dumb question of coz.

Ok, who do you blame?

Yourself or the other party?

Note: When I talked about relationship, I dont mean it between Adam and Eve only. I am talking about all sorts of relationships you can think of. (Say friendship, family-ship etc)

Of coz BGR is the hardest to mend and get over. (I would presume.)

In L-O-V-E, I guess I could be count as lucky.

I have never not fall outta love yet.

Though it doesnt mean that I never got my heart shattered, but those were the guys that I was never together with in the first place.

Disclaimer * Saying 'those guys' is not a quantitative figure.

I've seen people getting into numerous relationships.
Some may be flings,some not.
But each never lasting long and they grew weary of love.
They thus become a group of what we I call the 'sicky pessimist'.
Then why bother to get into a relationship again when you know you are the type that cant handle well?
Why not wait for the right one then jumping into a relationship or say wait till you know how to handle?
Or simply stop getting those guys/gals that are similar to the exes and get your heart break again?

Nah...All rational but illogical words of unwisdom.

I've seen people engaging into a fairy tale story for months and years, which in the end is only a lousy ending which the lousiness is comparable to movies like ..... like..... (Darn, I can only think of...) Planet of the Apes (when I never watch it before.)

Such failure of relationships often come like a bolt of lightening to me.
It's like only yesterday I still see you guys holding hands together and tomorrow the chemistry turns into a really bad experiment.
*KA-BOOM*

So my question is who do you blame in situations like these?

To make ourselves feel better, to get over the whole sticky situation, to move on with life.
Of coz it is only natural to :



Correct bo?

We still cry. That stands a good portion of Kleenex.

We still do things that hurt ourselves physically. Be it not eating or over eating.

We throw/burn/return all the things that were once a pair to solo. But trust me, I bet there is still one thing at least you keep in memoir.


Do you believe in remaining as friends after breaking up?

This is one of the common-est topic b/w gals.

My answer is a firm N.O.
Unless time has wash everything away.
Even so,I guess I would never want to meet or see someone of my past in my present or future.
He can be someone I dream painfully all the time but I would never want to see him again once I decide it's over.

I dunno how some people did it.
It's either:

1)Lying!
2)Never really love before.
3)Has a heart as wide as the ocean.

My explainations are still the same as I would gave previously.

That is the person you loved, shared so many good times with, hugged with, kissed with.
Be back to friends?
Do you kiss your friend?(I mean K-I-S-S-I-N-G.)
Both of you had done all the things that friends wouldnt cross that line.
After the breakup, erased everything instantly and be back as friends?

Who are you trying to kid?

I dunno.
Maybe you can really do it.

For me, be it whose the dumper/dumpee..once it's over, get outta my life.
You are the many beautiful lines in my story.
But as I cont'd to flip fwd, I dont wish to see/hear ur prescence again.
For better or worse,you & I may be leading...it's no longer your or my right to know about.
NOT AS A FRIEND coz I wont acknowledge you back as my friend.
You are an EX, not friend.
Lovers cant be revert one status, for me

I may regret, may really want you back deep inside or/and vice versa.
But I dont like to procrastinate nor like to drag and paint messier pictures.

Dont appear in my life again.
You have my blessings in the dark.
But you cant come back to my life.








Well..having say so much,it is only what I thought I should do.
But you and I both know that the heart and mind are often not in unison in affairs like this.
=/
Well,it is just blahings.










Right now,I faced a broken relationship for months.

She may bloody hell never reads my blog anymore.
She may never wanna hear from me nor want to be heard anymore.

For one stupid misunderstanding that I will never bow coz I never think I am wrong in that, I am appalled how things turn up to be like this.

I often asked how is this gonna measured up for our years of friendship.
It's not even like the most complicated and messy situation that happened between us.

It is nothing but a simple and stupid thing.

Is it worth it?

Why wont I give way,you may ask.

If it's a mistake of mine, I would do anything to earn your forgiveness.
If it's not, even it's my family, I wont do anything beneath my dignity/pride/ego or whatever you can name it.

And the sad thing is when I see her photos, I am still very sad.

I miss her alot.

For many nights (that I lost count.) I dreamt of us.
Each time me wanting to recouncile but you never gave a chance.

I still yearn to hear your news.
I want to know how are you doing, how's life etc.

In front of my colleagues and friends, I still call you my friend.

I wont and dont wanna wishfully think that you would actually do/feel the same.

I would never forget on my birthday, your message is actually one of those that I really want to see.
Be it just a one sentence greeting or mutiple texts.

You couldnt have forgot, you couldnt have.
Even you have,there are never lack of days that you can make up for it.

I am not yearning your blessings on that day but just a msg that's simple enough to lemme know we are still friends.

No.
Not a single one since that 11th May 2005.
A date that I painfully marked down.

Do you still blame me?
What is it that you care about?
The money or the boy?

I can gladly gave both to you but for what!
It will be only recognised as acts of hypocritisims and arrogance.

Tell me for what, for why that I should start giving way again and again all the time.

Each unhappiness misunderstanding between us each time only remind me of those previous ones.

I dont deny that I perhaps have my chances too.

So we called it quits?









Towards you,I have endless regret and pain.

Given a chance, do you think we can go back?

After so long, do you think we can be back to how we were?

My rational thoughts would perhaps remain status quo.

Like how I would treat a broken relationship with a guy perhaps?

Seeing each other again would only bring us awkardness and perhpas my (and yours, if any) pain.

I really miss you.
You just never see the tears that I shed inside my heart.

I always think that the unseem tears are much sorrow-er than those that excreted outta eyes.

Like how I would treat *..........*, my blessings for you would be in the dark.

I pray that you live the life you want and be happy and safe always.

I dont see you again ,perhaps not ever in my life if this is how fate decreeded.

But I wont forget you.

I always want to see you but I would realised too that this dream is a nightmare in reality.









I wanna be happy too.
But I am the melancholic type.
I cant live my days bright and gay with no sense of sadness kept in me.
That is not me.
Sadist or not, I feel something is missing if I dont feel like that sometimes.
It's just like my solitude.
I may enjoy companions and hates loneliness.
But sometimes it is nothing but necessary for me.







Never look back, we said.
How was I to know that I miss you so?

Now where is it....Ah huh!


--An evidence to show Moo2 how much I love her. Apparently she doesnt think likewise? ;p



I am just sorry that I decided to keep the chillin out a miss for several good reasons.

a)I am not a trained night c8t. Once I have unenough sleep, my Sat will be ruined!
b)I dont like smoke,2nd hand smoke.
c)Drinking chivas green tea/cola aint exactly my cuppa after (a very heavy) meal.
d)I dont want my clothes & hair to stink.
e)I look very bad, really.Not s'pposed to bring out to show scare the customers away.

I've made all this up with a very nice testimonial @ Friendster for you!

I know you wont read this, but perhaps anyone who read this (& knows her) would translate my thoughts and blessings to her.
If not, God will. =)

Coming right up...a broken hearted tale.

And the Subway uncle knows my face~

I wonder do I get more portions for everything then?

Hmmm...

Last night dinner:Subway Tuna,6 inch wheat with usual ingredients & dressings.
Coz I gotta teach.

Today lunch: Subway Over roasted Chicken Breast, 6 inch hearty Italian with usual ingredients & dressings.

Burp~

Btw....

(Though she wont read this)

"Happy Birthday, Shuyi!"

Some people love with all their might but get nothing in return.

Some dont even have to fork a piece of their heart yet they got all the love in the world.

Some just keeps falling in and out of love, as if it doesnt hurts.

Some dont love at all.

Some try so hard to learn how to love but can never do it the right way.

And I realised some fall so hard in love each time and fall out so quickly, AND THEN wallop themselves in pitiness and their so call darkness.
They think their life is a stage of bleakness without love.

I just think...

Havent it occur to them that there might be something wrong not right about them, their way of loving perhaps, and/or their definition of love when the same old string keeps tying back to the same knot.

No/Little wonder their love is so short,so self-inflicted complicated, so ....deserve my mocking.
-_-

Oh well, look what I've said?

Who am I to judge?

Hey,I didnt judge!

I merely blah my inner rants out.

I still never judge you on the outside nor face to face.

For a very long time, I wanna my brain to come to a stop &rest for a while.
But while I am working, I cant.
My brain has to keep running and burn its' cells away by the daily activites.

Each time I reached home, I just settle for dinner, some tv perhaps and then quickly blog.
Thus alot of stupid blahs.

While I enjoy the daily running of life(that's makes us feel equipped), but I thought I could use a little "..." in between.

Weekends are short and precious that we often try too hard to enjoy, I find?

No wonder....

I get sick of certain things...so fast.

Trying to hard.

Flop!

Quote from a good guy friend:

"For me, I feel that I have to commit myself to her and love her more than I love Amy*..."

Disclaimer*Name used is not real for identity's protection purposes.

And he is now totally in love with his current gf and treats the gal whom he loved so much in the past as a friend now.

Is that possible?

How can love be measure?

And.....

What does say of me?

=/

Oh well...back to the cliche.

"What's l-o-v-e?"

Hey...suddenly I feel like buying Zhang Fei's album.

Not the one from that chinese literature.
It's the one hosting the chinese variety show.

Though he may be old, hairy bushy and curly...but you gotta admit,his voice is good.

I just cant resist such voice,full of charimas and charm.

Like Frank Sinatra, like Fei Xiang...like....

Hmm...

Pardon me for my ignorance.

Saying it's a bliss is just to cover my inadequacies.

Good night.

The Broken Star...

I dont usually follow the frenzy of those Pop Idols.
But I did catch the Channel U Super Stars tonight.

In case you dunno,it was the final show down b/w a normal guy next door--JunYang and a handicapped guy -WeiLian.

One final conclusion is that you dont even need to be a professional like a panel of judges (whose just a bunch of hyprocrites! Hey guys, KELONG!!) to tell that Weilian's vocal is definitely way much better than the other.

Junyang's voice is just so damn normal, weak and pales so damn in comparison!

I am not saying from the position of Weilian's fan or whatsoever.
And despite his handicapped(in vision), he doesnt need nor deserve pitiness from others coz he is truly good.

I put aside the 2 chinese songs that both sang.

Listen again to Junyang's "If you go away come back" by Blue, and Weilian "Heaven knows" by Rick Price.
It is already way too obvious whose the winner.

But what the damn panel of kelong judges did was to comment JY like he is so lousy brilliant tonight and Weilian that he did his best and there is still room for improvement.

Hey!


What a hypocritical industry.

Of coz a Super Star/Pop Idol icon must be someone who is 'Perfect'.
Vocal voice can be taught and train eventually.

Then why the hell do you guys come up with such a contest?
For those people to acheive their dreams?
How about those who really deserve the crowns?

Money making scheme.
I wonder where does all the donations sms money goes to?

One!
Two!
Three!


BLAH!!!!!

It is the sweetest dream that I painfully long for all the time.
But when it comes in contact with the real world,it is a pure nightmare.

I would rather sleep through a thousand nights of nightmares then to come in contact with just one in reality.

--Ling.

I think I really look like a wreck.

I hate it when I look like that.

I get so low confident and confidence is the key that keeps my engine driving.(one of the keys)

Btw I always pass by this HSBC bank @ PS.

Their slogan is.

"What if you could live the life you want when you retired."

In singapore?

I think they should change it to...

"what if you could live the life you want when you retireddie?"

And right infront of PS is Citibank.

Their slogan is.

"Your partner in wealth mangement...blah.(I forgot)"

How about "Your partner in wealth managementmanipulation"?


Anyway the thing is...

Live the life I want ONLY I retired?

That is not a very motivating nor enouraging line to me.


But again..it is more realistic.

And living the life you want when you retired is a blessing.(Already.)

Some people dont even get to do that all their life.

I am crossing my fingers that I will.

April 16th.
I had one of the greatest nightmare.
A nightmare that I keep dreaming of but I am afraid.
It snapped me outta the blues.
I wish I never dream (of that) again.

I am not prepared and will never be,I guess?

What a dream night mare.

That is how I looked perhaps @ work.

--Monday Blues...o_-

Please...I plead again.

I wanna my Tuesday to be BRIGHT YELLOW!!!!

And so the rest of the days too.

Nightmares,Fiak off!

On a mid monday

I am still under the blues.
Could be just the blues,the flu bug's work or really I didnt sleep well last night.
Woke at every other hours.
Cant recall now why so but I guess it's nightmare?

Sigh,when will 'you' let me go?
I dun want nightmares in Lala land!

What am I thinking of....

I often like to sit down,be alone in a house,with music and think...
Trying to blog a good piece of blog.

But lately all insipirations are nowhere in sight.
I especially like my May 2005 entries but I cant just blog like that anymore.

Stares blankly at the screen.

I guess I just have to put what's past behind.
Looking at the future,I only yearn to climb higher and higher.

Quite frankly, I do like my work place.
It may not be equiped with a cafe like dining area,state of the art computers and so on.
But Clara has been nice to me, entitling me some priviledges(so to say) and blah blah.

Though deep inside, I am still wary and cant help to put on my guard.
But this is the working world that we are talking about.
Be on your heels is important.

I refused to bow down to a poor man's fate.

Money doesnt spin my world and it doesnt comes in between you and me.
But I do recognized its importance that it plays in my life.
I must work (hard)for it and then use it to compensate what I am missing out as I worked for it.

The rule is dont work for money,make money work for you.
And this applies for many other things in life,I guess?

As such I make some of the things to be on my TO GET list.
They are not important to me at all.
But they shall mark my achievements.
Alot of you may have it already.
I am slow,I admit.
But they come in my every cents worth.

There is no point that I get something similar,has the same functions but slightly "lousier" for lower price of coz.
Since they are not impt to me and are purely 'wants' and 'trophies', they might as well be the best in market.

1)A good 5.0(at least) mega pixels Cyber shot.

-The pictures taken by me are so clear as though you are seeing tv le!Li hai ma?"

2)A good Ipod Mini.


-I still cant decide which colour I like better...you?

3)A good perfume.(I didnt buy coz I didnt know which I like.)

-There's alot of debates about this ad.Do you see 2 women?-_-


4)A new hp.
And I kinda fancy this one!
It kinda look like a mouse.


-Not him la.

Now lemme find.
I dunno what is the model coz I never pay attention to names.

I think it is this or something like this.


-It comes in pink,blue...colours.

Why I like it?
Finally there's a handphone that BREAK the codes.
Boring colours,go away!

Mobiles are very boring gadgets.
They should come in Ipod colours!
Those covers with pictures or multi colours are UGLY things though.


I am not a spendthrift.
I know specifically what is worth and what's not.
(Exclude some shopping impulses but I cut down on that already.)

And lastly with slightly more than sufficient money on hand, I can afford to give my family a good treat anytime I want.

And if there's any courses I wanna take up in the future,they shall come from my own pocket.
And of coz every other things.

And thus I have lil' envy for those people who has things that come a lil' too easy for them.
Coz they are rich.
For my friends who are rich,it's truely your fortune.
Dont worry, I ain't talking about you.
I am just passing my insensitive judgement to others that I see.
Facade is what we all see, isnt it?

Never with others.
What matters most is how my life is revolving.

Day after day, I had to keep reminding myself that the things I gotta do in order to make my life 'meaningful'.

I remembered clearly that I want to teach.
I want to end up in the career which all I see are the faces of angels and the true smile from the hearts.
Not now?
Not yet.
But when?
Just not now..yet.

I remembered clearly that I wanna learn to converse in the beautiful language of France.
Oh...Vous parler Francias?*weak translation,dont count on it!*
I guess I gotta delayed it till nearing end of the year or really only next.

I remembered clearly that I should have some Aerobics with Mingli??
Haha.
She did msg to ask if I play badminton this morning.
But I am a late Sunday bird.
Besides the last that I remembered playing was when I was much younger with my brothers at the carpark.
Those were the days when I still remembered seeing families playing there too.
Sigh...
Now the carpark is solely just a carpark.
Parked with cars and yet looks lonely too.

I remembered clearly that I wanna learn to make fine cuisines on my own.
I admit I dont cook well.
The only 'things' that I cooked lately are instant noodles and sometimes sphagetties.
(Did I spell that Italian noodle correctly?I always CANT SPELL THAT,I dunno why...)
Oh well...My parents,esp my dad, are chefs that I am always dead proud of.
Havent they left me any genes that's associated with c-o-o-king?
Non!
I refused to believe so.
I WILL LEARN how to cook Sweet & Sour pork;)

And yea,speaking of which...I remembered too that I figured impossible is really nothing.
It's just the matter of you want to do it or not.
And I guess it applies to everything in life?
For instance, it's not the matter of you can or cannot forget someone.
It's really the matter you want or not?
Of coz the affairs of heart are much complicated.
If we can control how we feel all the time, living wouldnt be so beautiful.
=)

Yes,yes.
I remembered that I wanna do some good deeds like donating blood, volunteering, fostering a kid etc.
Not for the sake of accumulating karma though.
I dunno how karma works anyway.
It is always in dramas that the baddies get their retribution.
=/
Hmm....So?
I guess other than the very first one, the rest comes when I am fully capable of managing my time.
How to have time for work,friends,family,myself(& you) equally.
Of coz fostering a kid comes after my finances are all stable.

And...
I want a goldie?
Sob...when will I have a house big enough to house a G.Retriver?

Anyway...anyway...anyway.

What I plan to achieve may already long be done by many others.
I am so way behind.

But...



































Do you think I give a damn?

E Tramp & e Lady?

Remember last time it was the Corgi?


-I am so cute....RIGHT!!
Now it is....


-I beat you this round.

^^

Cute,isn't it?

Was @ Marine Parade again and there's this 3 mths old Westie puppy that the crew brought out to play.

It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!
If I could magnify that letter 'C',I would do it by a 100 times.

One of the gal actually carried it.
Sob..I wanna carry the puppy too.
But I am afraid that my ignorance would hurt the poor puppy (for a record there,I have NEVER in my whole life carry a dog before.) and I am not not-shy enough to ask the gal to lemme carry.

And then there's this white fur Spitz.
I forgot which country does it origin but it looked so adorable too.
If I have a Spitz,I would name it 'Foxy'!
Hehz.
Now someone knows why.


-Call me Foxy!

I was hoping so much that the crew there might actually recommend me to their boss and allow me to work during Sunday.
Cant they see the over zealous oozing LOVE from my eyes when I look @ the dogs?

I want a doggie~~~

Actually I always love


-Love me,dont you?

The day was as simple as it was fine.
I love simplicity.

No big dinner.
No big deal.

Burger King tastes so good too.=)

No Swatch watch.
No big deal.

That watch looks mightly fine too.=)

The whole idea of pampering comes not from the amount of gifts that you can shower on me.
But really it is the thought of it that is so pampering.

Love me,not?

Hehz.

Bonnuit.


-Finish you off with an act of narcissism

Hehz.

We all lost something...somewhere.

I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil

It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for

I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
But yes I'm still running.

You broke the bonds
You loosened the chains
You carried the cross
And my shame
And my shame
You know I believed it
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for


-U2

On a Saturday work day...

I am mainly chilling out with the 'Best Mixed of Music- Class 95fm' and blogs.

I gotta admit 98.7fm sucks these days.
Blah!

My dreams,more often than not are weird and sometimes bad.(if not most of the times.)
I just wondered why.

This Saturday...I would hate to go town.

I do not wish to meet your usual Saturday crowd.

They make me wanna go dye my hair pink so I can stick out like a sore thumb and then really sing Pink's "You make me sick".

Blah!

Ever felt attached and detached at the same time?

That's me.

Sometimes I wonder what is the kinda facade I gave to stangers and friends?
Facade...Is that a right term to use?

I see that girl down the street.
She's young and beautiful.
Looks like she is the happiest lady in the town.
But hey,she is looking at me perhaps thinking likewise too.

Disclaimer*The 'me' is not me.It's just an analogy,so to say.

Via our eyes,we truely only see the facade.

I feel beneath the skin and it just seems to me now,is not a right thing to do so.

As time goes on, this solitaire c8t loses her sense of empathy.

She just closes her eyes and think...

"What a *beep* place!"

10 things that I've learnt while I work....

1)Be thankful you are not a Indian or Malay (esp.)
-A million apologies to those very decent malays,but the rest of you deserved that stereotype,really!

2)Degrees,more often than not, are useless when it comes to agencies.

3)There are really alot of mentally unbalanced people in the society.

4)Banks (all banks) has one of the highest turn over rate thru'hout the whole industries.

5)If you really wanna go to bank, be prepared for the following things.
-Over Time.
- Contract
- Temporary(the least paid)
- Sudden termination.(You dont need a justifiable reason.)

6)If you really love bank,work harder.Go for a foreign bank! At least they pay better (really better.)
But then again, foreign banks usually ask for high end positions from agencies.
So if you wanna try, you have to start from scratch with them.Unless you have that qualifications.

7)Anything closing to 50 and above are consider old and most likely will never hear their phone ring from
agencies at least.

8)Some degree holders are most obnoxious of all.Trust me, we have got ample of them that we tend not to
use.

9)Be prepared to meet stinkers most of the times. Irking if they are candidates, more so if they are the clients.

10)Sometimes the (seemly)easiest to find position is the hardest to close.

10b)My role is a sales person,HR person, slave,counselor,reprimander and still a worker.

Darn,I'm surfing on the waves and I'm LOVING IT~

2 Classic Tunas in a row

I had one for dinner last night and one for lunch just now.

My fav is.

6 inch Honey Oat bread.
With cheese.
Lettuce and tomatoes only.
Honey Mustard sauce.
Permesan Cheese and pepper sprinkled.

;)

Very filling.

Wanted to eat Egg Mayo today but they dont serve.(today??)

My first was Italian BMT.
It would taste good if I hadnt add olives and pickles.

Second was cheese steak.
I dun really like that beef though, the many unchewable parts.

Come to think of it,this tuna is the third(and forth.)

Would love to try the others if it wasnt so expensive.
Well..it is to me.

The meatball one looks good to me.
Hehz.

Subway promised that their sandwiches to be 6 grams and below.

With my additions(of cheese.Hehe~),I think it doubled.

Who dont love Subway?

Sandwiches for lazy and health conscious freaks.

All hail Subway!

For those who haven't seen me in my spects.....

You can tell I am not a hard worker...

"Ah Choo!!"

Well...Excuse me.

*sniffs*

Sigh..

Running nose.
Slight headache.
Blocked nose and ears.
Slow traffic in the brain.

And I still have to work.

ZZZzzzzzzz

Oh FIAK!
My 3000 words worth of entry.

I HATE BLOGGER!!!

ALL GONE!!!

Lunch time

Lately..I just find it hard to smile.
The way I look at people is no longer kind nor with a benefit of doubt.

It is just hard not to frown to the crowds.

And I still got that psycho hanging on my back.One more time,he will be my first police case.
What a honor huh?

A quick one

Before I retired.

Watched Charlie & e Chocolate Factory today.
There is no reason why I adore Johnny Depp!
Just a set of alluring eccentric charm surrounding him.
Think it all begun from Edward ScissorsHand.

I must admit I have NEVER read Roald's stories no matter how much of a classic it is.
I was never raised as a reader,thus explained my in-frequencies of readings.
And really,I dunno anything about the Chocolate Factory and Charlie.

It was a very colourful show though.
Not much of an entertainment but hey,it's a children's book.
So dont get your expectations too high.

I enjoyed the show though.
The colours and mainly,Johnny himself.
And yea, the different distinct accents in each of the characters.

I am much more interested in the other Tim Burton's show.
I dun need to reveal which one,you all know.;)

We love Tim Burton,dont we?

(and more imptly,it's still Johnny~.I dont mind to be his corspe bride.Hehz.)

My mood went down the slope as soon as I got exposed to the crowds all heading to Marina South.

I mean...What's the big deal?
What those big vehicles interest you?
Or really...that coloured stars?(Fireworks?)

Some things turn me off and I shall name them all now.

1)Crowds.
2)Big sale.(I can never find anything to buy there and still the crowds turn me off.)
3)Rude asses.(all kinds)
4)Frequent lateness.
5)Too oily food that makes pple fat.
6)Techno music.
7)Smoke.(No offense.)
8)Inability to buy the things I want myself.
9)Etc etc etc

The longer I stay with the crowd, the more disgusting I find the world is.
Or perhaps...it's just this society huh?

Sigh.

Bonnuit.

A recount

What happened these days?

I guess facing people really sucks these days.
The longer you stayed in this line, the more you find the world is full of ugly apes,monkey asses et cetra.

And I have a psycho candidate who keeps harassing me!
He is damn pervert!

He looks absolutely ok,normal I mean.
But when he speaks, you know he is not ok.
A bit slow and less intelligent.
(FYI,he quitted his ITE studies half way.I guess I dun need a reason now.)

He walked in for interview that time and I so happened to be the one interviewing him.

Initially I kinda 'pitied' him in a way.
Coz he keeps msging me to check if I've got jobs for him and his parents are pressing him to get a job.

Finally a chance came by where one of my colleagues was looking for a warehouse assistant.
I gave her his resume.

Blah blah~

He kept msging me to ask me about the job.
I told him I have no idea coz I am not in charge of it and told him repeatedly that he should just called in during office hours if he has any questions.

The most turning off thing is that he msged only at late nights.
One of it says something like he felt very stress and has got alot of urge in his heart("URGE??!!!) and asked if he could call me.

I could have swore I still feel "pitiful" about it and wanted to call in to 'counsel' him the next morning.
I told my colleague this and she decided to pull him out of the post.(how can she trusts someone like that to handle a job?)

The last straw came when he msged me last Saturday night the most disgusting thing.
"I have not seen you for a long time.Can we meet?"
"You got msn and friendster?Can add me at..........."

My mood was very foul on Saturday night.(due to my bro's incident.)
He should count his luck that I didnt call or msg to screw him off!

My mood aint any better on Sunday.
I had to make a trip down town just to make the remittance under the scorching weather.
And he kept disturbing me.

Asking why didnt I reply,can we talk,PRETEND TO ASK ABT THE JOB SOMEMORE!!!

I tried my best not to lose my temper and told him nicely that I dunno anything about the job.He should call in the office to ask etc.

I could have really use my strings of Fs when he kept asking why he cant sms me when I told him not to disturb me anymore.

And it's really *beep**beep**beep*!!!

He has got the damn nerve to msg me at 2 AM trying to threaten me!!!

Who the Fuck he think he is!

"Hi, can you tell me why I cant sms you?"
"Hey Im warning me,you better reply me!"
"You better reply everything I sms you!"

I REALLY WANT TO CALL HIM TO ARGH~~~~~~~~

*pant*

The irritating thing is that he didnt gave up today.

My colleagues decided to 'threaten' him back.
On eof them pretended to be my mom and called him using Tracy's mobile.
You should witnessed how funny it is when Cheng Cheng used Hokkien and told him not to disturb me or she call 'Mata'.(police)

But he didnt gave up.

He msged back Tracy to ask if she is my mom.
And msg me twice to ask why I get my mom to call him.

(Thank God that is the last of msg...so far.)

Some people really test my patience!

First thing first,you wanna play hooligan with me...you also must see what kinda pattern are you.

You only look like those ....yea..psycho!(those schizophrenic cases or worse.Just siao one.)

If it wasnt for the fact that I am working and that I ought to be professional,I would long call back to really...be what you guys love to call me...

Evil ling.

-_-